I am so very sorry, I seem to have lost my script!

5-4-3-2-1-Action!

Larry was a very sweet guy I met at a local bar. We were introduced by the bartender - who knew both of us. I stood at the corner of the bar for at least an hour, talking to Larry and enjoying the questions and the smiles he was throwing my way. Larry had friends that were meeting him, so when they showed up, he left with them.

We reconnected the next week and exchanged phone calls. Larry invited me to dinner. We met and ended up stretching our dinner plans to drinks after and then drinks at another place...we ended up closing the bar and sealing the deal with a great kiss.

When Larry asked me to go to a favorite live music spot with him that weekend, I didn't hesitate to accept his invite. I really liked what I knew of Larry. He was sweet, smart and had dangerous hobbies I wanted to do vicariously through him. I also liked that he didn't seem interested in anything but me when we were talking. I felt that from the moment I met him. It could have been just the way he looked right into my eyes when I was talking and rubbed my knee lightly when we were facing each other on our stools - but to me, it showed he was into me.

I went out with Larry that weekend. He picked me up at my house and we were on our way to a place I had never been before. It was a small dive bar with a band set up in the corner. I enjoyed the bar...it reminded me of a place that my older relatives would have frequented. It was full of people speaking a language other than English and the music was familiar and fun. Larry did not really talk much at this place, nor did he offer to buy me a drink. He asked me to dance to music that was made for precise partner dancing - even though neither of us knew how to do the dance. I hadn't had any drinks. People were not dancing. I wasn't in the mood to be a spectacle that night, even though I would have danced if I wanted to, regardless of the surroundings. I just didn't want to, so I said "no thanks".

Larry informed me that he had two other places for us to go to that night. The next place was made for dancing and dancing only. People were dressed to dance and we were outcasts - Flat Out. No one made us feel that way, but we were. Just by the way Larry was acting, I got the impression that part of the appeal that these places had for him was the fact that he stood out. I also felt like he thought that the fact that he knew about these places and went to them, made him feel "cool", like he had the inside scoop on something that other people might not be keen to just yet. But, Larry thought it was super-radtastic. I thought it was boring, for the most part - and that he was a poser.

Larry didn't know anything about the music, the bands or the people. As a matter of fact, I was schooling him on the styles of music, the language and the culture. All of which are not a part of my personal heritage. I also knew people at the second place we went to. Larry's response when I said I knew people there was "how is that possible?" Ha Larry! I KNOW people. Amanda HugN'Kiss knows people everywhere. I am comfortable enough to actually NOT have to TRY to be different and interesting and do it to the extreme.

The evening did not play out the way that Larry planned. I got the vibe that he was upset that I wasn't playing the part he had written for me. I didn't want to be a spectacle at the first place. I didn't sit nicely in my seat and dance when he wanted me to at the second place. To the contrary, I danced with people I knew and was able to socialize...which was much more that what was happening at our silent table. So sorry Larry, you should have told me what you expected out of me before the night began. I could have at least politely declined the invite, if I would have known.

...and Scene.

That's Just My Baby Daddy!

Okay, people are going to hate me after this post. I am going to keep it short and to the point. There are a large group of men in this country that flock towards women who make terrible decisions.

I don't get what is so appealing about a woman who has never been married and has children. Why is that a positive thing? Doesn't that mean that somewhere along the way, this person did not protect themself properly while having sex? Responsible.

Damn it. Excuse me for not putting myself in a situation where I have a child and all the "baby daddy" drama to deal with.

Just a note: I am referring to women in their 20s and early 30s, of course.

Boris Smeltsin

Hi, my name is Boris Smeltsin. I like all things smelly. I enjoy eating food and treats, drinking water, playing with toys and most of all, being smelly. I know how to clear a room with one swipe of my tail. Wanna whiff?

Even Wonder Woman Needs A Man

I have a theory and I posed this theory to Star on Thursday night at Dick o'Dow's.

She blogged about it here: To Pretend or Not To Pretend

Because I am self-sufficient and support myself, does that make me unworthy of a man? Does it send the message that I don't need/want a man in my life?

I know that men subconsciously need to feel needed. Like they can provide for a woman. There are many things that I want and need from a man. I can't wield a hammer, hang heavy things on a wall, change oil in a car, play pool/golf/or ski well or train a dog.

I am great at the basic survival things that I need to live my daily life and I am awesome at the womanly duties. BUT, I want a man and need him to be my man, even if I can pay my own way.

Qualified to Satisfy Me Anyway I Want You To?

Ah, Barry White...if only you knew how few men take the path you cleared for them with your soundtrack for the modern Casanova...these fools could be getting laid any time they wanted if they only followed your lead.
I have been thinking about Barry, his music and the way hearing his music automatically makes my mental slide show of my "best sex experiences" clips (yes I have them...What? You don't?) play in my head.
Wondering why I would be thinking of Barry...it's actually ironic, or is it? I have been nervous about calling anything ironic ever since Alanis (sp?) got busted for her linguistic faux pas. Okay...so, I got this mixed CD for my birthday from someone that no longer matters. (His "name" is DJHAS...ladies, he's all yours) BUT, as much as I try to find everything wrong with it, I like the CD. Damn it, I wanted to hate it so bad, but I find myself listening to it every time I am in my car lately. So, on this CD, is the Dirtbombs remake of Barry White's "Qualified To Satisfy You". Here's the Irony: he wasn't qualified, certified, able to or even making up for it. The first time I listened to the CD, I started to laugh when the song came on. 1 - because of what I just stated above and 2: because he said that the songs on the CD made him think of me! (hello? am I really reminiscent of an "around the way girl"? my ears cannot handle a pair of chandelier earrings, let alone 2 pair at once!) I keep thinking that that means he thinks he really was, uh, qualified.
Just a little more background on this CD: I didn't listen to the CD at length or with any sort of attention to the songs until after we stopped talking...I tried to boycott the CD for a while and then gave in because overall, the guy has great taste in music and if you know me, you know that music is one of the loves of my life...I just couldn't resist hearing my personal soundtrack according to "DJHAS WHAT" any longer. Weak? Maybe. loving the CD and hating myself for enjoying almost every track of it. YES. singing Barry in my head right now...yes, because it goes great with my "slide show" **wink wink**