A Letter to a friend

Dear Friend,
Thank you for being the kind person that you are. You accept so many things that you shouldn't. I should have never let you slip out of my life. The confusion and hurt that I may have caused is inexcusable.

I know that you might not ever mention our "break" so I figured I would let you know that I SUCK. I hope I can show you that I am sorry and we can be close again. I miss the time we spent together and all the fun we have just being around each other.

I can probably never truly explain why I decided we would better off apart. I know fear of what might or might not be was a huge part of it. My fears are unjustified and I know that now.

You are one of the coolest nerds and I know you know that is a huge compliment. Maybe we can go to a concert together soon? I will buy the tickets if you drive.

Sincerely,
Me

Quickly! Quickly! Date! Date! Date!

Here is my official recap of my speed-dating experience:

I walked in on time and looking fabulous in my wrap dress, heels, hair and necklace. I was ready to date. Quickly.

So, I got my name tag, table assignment and grabbed a glass of wine. People were hanging out at the bar, but it was almost silent. It was like they were getting ready to go in front of a jury or something equally un-fun.

I checked my blackberry and scoped out the crowd. I noticed a smarmy guy that Star and Trixie (new fake name for friend) went out on dates with. He was a "no" on my list before the event even started. As was the guy sitting a few seats away from me at the bar bitching about how weird this was going to be and how he really hoped that it didn't last later than he wanted it to because it was so stupid to be here for 2 hours blah, blah, blah, blah, sports, blah, ugly tie. Yes, his tie was ugly and that's a "no" in my book on it's own. It's a freakin tie! It's not difficult to buy a nice one!

Okay, so it was announced that the event was starting and for all of us to take our assigned seats. I was a little nervous. I couldn't believe it, but I had the nervous sweat thing going on. "Jesus, this is starting out great", I thought. I stopped sweating halfway through.

Let's just go down the list of guys:

Chadwick: A very cute bald guy, 27 years-old. Has done speed-dating before and didn't like anyone the last time he did it. He gives off a little bit of a woman-hater vibe. I could tell by how many times he kept mentioning "gold-digger chicks and their sugar-daddies" the he sees at Somerset Collection (a nice mall). He hates them, by the way.

Kurt: Kurt is in his mid-30s. He is dressed in typical engineer garb (polo shirt and khakis) and is (drumroll) and engineer. Kurt was uncomfortable with me. He couldn't speak or ask questions and there were a few long uncomfortable moments. UGH.

George: George is an engineer, too. He has a lazy eye - I think. I am trying to figure out if he is looking at me or at the person behind me. George is very nice. That's all I can remember.

Atul: He is very funny and talkative. I feel like our time went by too fast. Not the cutest guy ever, but really enjoyed talking to him. Oh, and an engineer.

Dawei: (pronounced: dah-way) He asked me a lot about my job and if I could get him a discount. He asked me about the discount again later. He also wanted to see my Blackberry. That took up the rest of our time. Glad you like the service my company provides, Dawei. Oh, thanks for doing the thing we like to call engineering.

Justin: Younger version of Dr. Phil...bald head and all. Justin is an "Executive" for an aesthetics company. They do laser hair removal and micro-dermabrasion. He has a staff of 75 people. He is friends with the guy bitching at the bar. They came together.

Derek: He lives in the city I grew up in and only 2 blocks away from my childhood house! We thought that was fun! Derek is a chemist for paint primers. He was a nice guy.

Adam: Here is what I put next to Adam's name on my sheet "gay maybe". Adam was nice enough, an engineer, well-groomed and smiley. He was fixated on the fact that I said the word "folks" at the end of a jokey-type comment. he kept asking if I was sure I was from Michigan because everyone he knew that said "folks" was from the south. I don't know how many times I could have said it was just me being silly and joking. IT WAS A JOKE ADAM.

Mark: Mark is going as Steve Fossett for Halloween. He said, "I won't be missing anymore." Mark is funny. I invited him to my Halloween party. Why? because he's funny and I like that.

Tony: Fah get about it! Tony thought my eyes were "gorgeous". He was very 1990s guido-esque. There wasn't really anything good or bad about him. He is an engineer, for christsake.

Matt (mutual match): He sat down and said something like "okay, I am in sales, I travel sometimes and I like my job" Then I said the same. He explained that he did that because he wanted to get that over with so we could talk about more interesting things. I liked that. He likes sports and lives near me.

Daniel: His sister was born on Elvis' deathday. He noted that I was born 3 days before that. That is all I remember about Daniel, but I circled yes for some reason. maybe because he wasn't a garish "no".

David: Even though he was an engineer, he was not interesting at all. He lives in Roseville and likes his neighborhood. Congrats, David.

Adrian: He had a hand-written name tag and he was a little too artsy-looking for my taste. He reminded me of a better version of Santino from Project Runway. He should be an art director, but he is an engineer.

Todd: I asked him if he was Polish right when he sat down because I could tell right when I saw him. He was 50%, just like me. He grew up n the eastside and went to catholic school. We knew some of the same people and had fun talking. I hope he is a match, if not for anything else, I would like to be Todd's friend. He might also be an Engineer, but I don't remember if we talked about our jobs.

Robert: He was really, really, really, really busy. Really.

Dan: Dan was boring and his 5 minutes felt like 10. I am pretty sure he is the bitching guy. maybe.

Suresh: He is an engineer and ballroom dancer who takes lessons from an instructor I know. He was flamboyant, which probably works to his benefit on the dance floor. The only couples dancing I like is Salsa and that was the one he didn't like. If he would have liked it, I would have circled "yes" so we could go out dancing.

Kevin: I put nothing but a question mark next to his name. I still don't even know who he is.

Tony: This is a classic story - Tony, the engineer, comes to a speed-dating event, but hopes that it ends right on time because he has made other plans. What might his plans be, you ask? He has a date. With an ex-girlfriend. He is worried that she will walk in when the event is still going on so he looks around constantly. He states that he doesn't want to seem rude, but he has to keep his eye out for her. I state that he was rude from the moment he told me he was late for a date while he is sitting at a table with me at a speed-dating event. Tony said "oh, well I guess I am a 'no', then." I said, "you got it. Have fun on your date."

Sergio: He is the dude that Star and Trixie both went out on dates with. Engineer by trade, Sergio wanted to know how many people I had said "yes" to so far and he also wanted to tell me how sexy and beautiful I was. I told him I wasn't even writing down his info because I was entering a "no" for him. He was a little offended, but I don't give a shit. NEVER.

Matthew: I wasn't sure about Matthew. He seemed nice, but a little too shy for me. I liked him, though. I put a question mark next to his name. Oh, he's an engineer.

Kirk: Probably my favorite guy of the night. We were joking, laughing and having a good-old time! We even decided to wear each other's name tags by the time our "date" was up. He likes MSU when he isn't going to root for some other team I can't remember the name of. I saw him later and realized he is best buds with Matthew. I chose Kirk and said no to Matthew. I can't date guys that are friends - even if they are both engineers.

They shouldn't have allowed so many people at the event. By the time we were halfway through, they were making us switch after about 2 minutes. If you wanted to talk longer, it felt very disappointing. I will do it again if the opportunity arises, though. Overall, it was very fun.

So, as of right now, I have 1 mutual match. I had 8 "yes" guys and 15 "no" guys. I got the contact info for my match and e-mailed him today. Stay tuned...

Side note: notice what the cool kids do for work in my area? geez.

UPDATE 10/25/07: I only had the one match. He e-mailed me back and we are on our way to maybe meeting up! weehoo!

UPDATE 11/02/07: The e-mails are over...he was BORING. Snorefest Fiesta Party Bash, aka really really terribly boring.

Am I A Freak?

I can't sleep so I am watching the original Iron Chef and couldn't resist checking my "validate" account from speed-dating. I have no matches thus far. Am I supposed to believe that none of the guys that were at the event entered their info last night? or worse yet, NONE of them are interested in ME? I entered in my matches when I got home last night - which, by the way, was almost 10:30pm!!! The website says that when people are your matches (aka, interested in you), you will get a separate e-mail with each person's contact information. NADA. This might be a huge ego crusher, folks. I might be a freak. Stay tuned...

Quick! It's dating!

PEOPLE!!! I am freaking out! remember I mentioned that I was going to do speed-dating on Tuesday? well...it's TONIGHT! MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally unprepared!

I got reminder in the wee hours of the morning via e-mail and I could not believe my eyes when I opened it. Now I am going to have to try to hurry home and look fabulous. I planned on working from home in the afternoon tomorrow and making myself pretty in a nice leisurely fashion.

I have to be in the office all day today, so I am going to have to try to leave a half an hour early to beat traffic...ugh.

This better be worth it.

I must punch holes in paper and get ready for a conference call. More later. I will try to blog my speed-dating experience tonight so that it's fresh ;-)

here's a link to the speed-dating company that my event is through: quick-spark

I always feel like somebody's watching me

My BFF "Star" (she is going to love that fake name) and I went out on a girl-date on Saturday night. We texted back and forth trying to figure out what we were going to do all day and settled on a duo-excursion of Cinq Bar on Main & 5th Ave in Royal Oak with a late-night stop at Ye Olde Saloon, the neighborhood dive bar a little more south on Main.

We looked pretty damn fabulous when we walked into the stairway to Cinq's basement location. There was a crazy-ass young crowd yelling and whooping as they left the bar as we were walking in and all I kept thinking was "thank god you are leaving because I would be if you were all in the bar doing that". I am too old for that shit.

I made a comment to Star about how the bouncer made a point to inspect my ID carefully and look at my picture twice before letting me pass. Seriously, even if I had a fake ID, I still look well over 21 years-old, folks.

We ordered drinks and settled on a small love-seat with a table against the wall by the entrance and diagonal to the bar. It was a great spot to be able to see the whole bar's action.

Star and I were sipping our drinks (well, she was...I was sucking mine down) and talking about her date the night before. While that was going on, we of course were looking at people walking in the bar, standing at other tables, etc.

I noticed that every time I even glanced by chance at someone, they would turn around as if I said their name. They would look at me and I would feel like a creepy wierdo just for looking in their direction. I pointed it out to Star and she said that the same thing was happening to her. I swear the entire bar was on guard just waiting for one of us to glance their way so they could check us on it and make us feel like losers. We were cracking up about it! I couldn't NOT look at people once we both confirmed the bizarro world we were in.

While we were talking about her date, a new bouncer came on duty...lets just say he was a reason to stare in him self. He had a gold chain on over his black t-shirt and a pair of pants that looked stuffed in the front. Star kept turning around and looking at him. I have no clue if he looked, but I wasn't about to.

We did make a very important decision while at Cinq...Star is going to as "Grown-ass Jesus" to my Halloween party next week. My brother-in-law is going as baby Jesus, so it's the perfect compliment to round out the costume selection. We were laughing our asses off and of course so engrossed in our own conversation that I can't imagine any man wanting to come try to break-up our little friendfest. I did notice a group I called "the tall guys" staring our way for about 30 minutes. I knew that at least one of them wanted to possibly come over and talk to us, but didn't.

Right after I asked for our check so we could head off to our second stop, some guy I called "puckery shirt man" wagged a finger at Star and called her over to dance in the middle of the floor (there is not a dance floor at this place). I encouraged her to do so, thinking I would be left to sit there and laugh...which is what I prefer. NO...Puckery shirt man called ME over too! I hesitated, but went over and danced. All of a sudden a guy that was there with a girl stopped what he was doing and came over to dance with me. He was doing what Star later called the "near crotch tap". It was very Mike Jackson-esque and a turn-off. The other turn-off was the fact that the girl this guy was with walked up and said "I am leaving" and walked out. She didn't seem mad, just done. I have been her. I was done, too...the waitress brought me my check and I excused myself to sign my receipt. That was a good way to get us on our way. We left 2 minutes later...walked into Ye Olde, sat at two stools, said maybe 5 words and then decided to just leave.

I think the whole reason we go out is changing...we both agreed that we are getting old and it's a good thing.

I want a hug 'n kiss

I received a call from my dad early last week. He invited me over for dinner and said my younger sister and her husband were coming, too. Close to the end of the conversation, he said "you can bring someone with you". In my head I was thinking "um...who might that be?". I was reminded of my constant "single" status in an instant. Not that I need the reminder...especially when I am around my family. I am pretty much always the only one without a "partner".

I kept thinking about the "bring someone" comment. I mentioned it in conversation at an event I was at later that night. A couple that I know laughed because they understood. The two had recently started a relationship after meeting on Match.com.

Let me back up a tad and explain me for a minute in a bunch of descriptive words: caring, independent, strong, passionate, intelligent, ambitious, stylish, attractive, heterosexual, democratic, respectful, hilarious, loud, outgoing, social, creative, fun, adventurous, honest, opinionated, dynamic, sexy and my Myers-Briggs is ENTJ.

OKAY! for some reason, I feel like you need to know those things about me. You also need to know that I am trying very hard to be vulnerable when it comes to relationships with men and to not hold back on my feelings or emotions. I tend to not let people in on how I feel...I also tend to block out how I feel and detach myself from negative or sad situations in dating to protect myself from getting hurt. I am the person who's last line when explaining a relationship gone bad is "oh well, it's over now. Time to move on." and I do...never to visit the emotions I feel and blocking it all out by making myself busy or jumping into another dating situation.

I might sort-of be doing that again by participating in Speed-Dating on Tuesday. I really like to socialize, so I am thinking of this as something fun that I have never done before. I am hoping that I meet some cool people to go out on dates with, but if not, I still think it will be fun. Hopefully I am not sub-consciously trying to drown my "sorrows".

I will be blogging about my speed-dating later this week.

I would really like to know what you want me to talk about, so please respond to my poll. Thanks for reading!